It's amazing how your priorities in life change, all I used to care about was staying awake so I didn't miss anything and if I looked ridiculous with a lip ring. Then it changed to making sure I kept a job and trying to not get my heart broken. Now all I care about is having enough food in my house and making sure my family know how much I adore them. In a few months all I'll care about is not crapping myself in front of strangers, and if my Husband still finds me attractive after more than likely crapping myself in front of a bunch of strangers.
Life can easily be misinterpreted to be a lot more complicated than it needs to be. We put so much pressure on ourselves nowadays, that we forget to just enjoy and appreciate what we have. We are all so busy striving to be the best in something, to prove to an online world that we are happy and our lives are pretty great. But not just in the online world, in the real world too. Maybe you stay over at work for an hour or so a few times a week, just to try and prove to a boss that you are dedicated. Even though you know that boss doesn't appreciate it in the slightest, it's your 'job' right? Or you're still in a friendship that is completely one sided and you are always there for the other person, and getting nothing in return? It doesn't have to be that way you know, I should know.
When I was 18, I set out to university with the intent on making my parents proud. But I spent most of my first year drinking stella and lime and spent a heap of money on burgers at the pub across the road from campus. Then my Mom got ill when she was pregnant, I lost my job at the pub for being a drunken fool, I gave up on uni because I hated my course and then became so depressed that I didn't leave the house for six months, because every time I did, I'd have a panic attack. Eventually I plucked up the courage to re-apply for a Photography course, made a trip to town and stood in a crowd of people and faced my fears again. There are parts of my life I have never shared on this blog, maybe because I see it all as my past now and partly because people would read it as me just wanting sympathy. You know what, I'm Ok. I don't need the sympathy, everything turned out fine and all of those experiences and failures in my life made me the person I am now. I kind of like the person I am now, even though I wish I had a touch more courage.
Life will throw so many obstacles in your path, it's the way you overcome them that makes your journey so individual. That's what makes you, you. Being a woman in a society that blasts people for not having perfect skin or promotes a shampoo that will turn you in to a wind machine blown goddess...it's pretty hard to want to stand out instead of blend in. Hiding your own loves and hobbies because they aren't the norm? Why? Look at me, I'm a 28 year old girl who doesn't drink, loves gardening, reading and would much rather find a new restaurant than a new nightclub. I love tea, music and finding the perfect pillow a lot more exciting than many other people do. I've got a perfect life to me, it's my perfect, nobody else's. I'm not living for others like I used to when I was younger, I try less and less to impress people and I am very happy and content. Yes I have my struggles but I always think that my bad days would probably be someone's good days, so I try not to get disheartened. I'm in a decent job, that yes isn't my chosen career but I do well. I'm married, have my own home and I'm now going to be a mother. That brings a whole new sense of weight on my shoulders, will I be a good mother. Will I be what society see's as a 'good mother', pressure is everywhere isn't it?
I simply feel we should all live in the moment a little bit more, take a look around at what we have achieved and re-look at our dreams and where they are in being achieved. Take some time back for yourself, have a long bath, detach from the internet, spend some time with friends you don't make enough time for. Soak in your life and try and change what's making you un-happy. Writing a simple post the other day called 'Happiness is' really made me feel better. I honestly think that sometimes I need to take my own advice, and I am going to take this advice. I've put my dreams on the back burner, because well...I didn't have enough time, when I really did. So keep your eyes peeled for that Photography shop, it's coming real soon.
Enjoy your life, you only get one.