Lately I've been falling more and more in love with my Husband and all I want to do is make him proud of me, like I am of him. Of his drive and passion to always better himself, to be the best version of himself.
I'm trying to push myself, but free time is limited and I don't have enough go in me at the moment to squeeze every last bit of productivity out of my spare hours. Because quite frankly, most of the time, all I want to do is sleep.
My eyes are getting heavy - I fall to sleep.
It's now Sunday and it's dark again, my world forever moves forward without me noticing.
It's now Monday and it's dark again, my world forever moves forward without me noticing.
This is my life.
I started writing these thoughts on Saturday night, when my insomnia was overwhelming, it's now Monday and I still haven't finished. My life is so disjointed and erratic, having no consistency apart from work is sometimes draining. Life is full of distractions and emotions that pull my attention from one thing to another, so much that I've lost the train of thought I started this post with. So let's go back to the start...
Creativity. I have so many ideas and thoughts on a daily basis, so much so that I don't have enough notebooks to keep up. But those thoughts get constrained and suppressed because of work and sleep and life and not having enough minutes, hours, days. I love to write, I love to Photograph, I love to find new music, I love silence, I love being alone, I hate being alone, I have another thought, I don't have enough time. It's a never ending circle of thoughts ending with momentary remembrance of something I have to do or complete. I don't get enough sleep, the tiredness is overwhelming. I soak up inspiration on a daily basis from so many people and things, I am swimming in a world of amazing people who can juggle and manage their time so much better than me. I can't even find enough time to finish my morning cup of tea.
I need the tea.
Honestly, I don't even know what I'm saying. Maybe that I am really trying to be a better version of myself and that I'm not really reaching any outcomes, unless they involve searching things out in my sleep - my phone goes off, I get distracted.
My world forever moves forward without me noticing.