Is it just a question?

I was going to write this post on Tuesday, but I feel it needs to be said, and the information in my head is so current right now and the emotions so raw, I feel if I don't address the situation now, I will maybe, slightly implode. From a girl who wrote this post, my post popular to date, I can not verify how sad it is making me to type yet another post on a form of bullying, because that's what it has become, CYBER BULLYING.

What I'm talking about is Formspring, the website that allows anyone to ask you a question, or so currently allows anyone to insult, belittle, bully or offend you. Earlier in the week, I saw a 'Question' that made me so amazingly furious I wanted to cry, and it wasn't even me who it was asked of. It was of a lovely girl, who just so happened to update her twitter saying she was upset and was finding it hard to be so far away from her boyfriend. That girl was Jennie, and this was her question...

"I think your boyfriend should break up with you. You don't deserve to be happy. Don't you ever wonder why he likes living so far away from you? He obviously wants me instead."

I hear you cry...that isn't a question!! No it isn't a question, it's a f**king diabolical human being, sitting behind their computer, typing away with intent to hurt a person they do not know, and have never met!!

When you become a blogger, you are in a way giving yourself up to the world, especially if you have a personal blog, bequeathing details of your life to all and sundry, this however does not give anyone a key to cyberly smack someone in the face, because in the real world that is what this 'question' represents, a punch in the face, which would go down as assault, and the person would get arrested. Or if they had punched me however, would get a punch right back, alas less of the violence, this is without doubt a very serious issue, I spoke to Jennie, and this is what she had to say...

"All this hate from anonymous people directed towards bloggers is getting a bit ridiculous now. I’ve had a few negative comments here and there about my weight or other silly little things that I didn’t even give a second thought to, but I have to admit when someone started picking on the relationship between my boyfriend and I, it got to me a bit even though I know the whole comment is so completely ridiculous! The sad thing is whoever it is obviously follows me on Twitter as I’d tweeted about feeling upset because I was getting tired of the long distance & I really missed my boyfriend. The last thing I needed that day was a nasty relationship related formspring ‘question’. Thankfully I’ve made some beautiful friends through blogging and they told me to just forget about it. Clearly these people have nothing productive to do with their time than direct hate towards others. Who knows why, boredom, jealousy perhaps? But I think the important thing is to try and not let it affect you & be the bigger person. Of course there are always going to be people who don’t like you and vice versa, that’s part of life, but hating on someone just isn’t necessary or healthy!"

The definition of cyber bullying is thus:

"Involves the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others."

Intended to harm others, how can you have the intent to harm someone you have never met? What is so stirred within you to want to make someone upset for your own personal gratification? On a personal level, I think it's shameful, and to whomever wrote Jennie's little note, I hope your parents are considerably ashamed to call you their child. During my research I came across this incredibly sad story about a young boy who committed suicide after being cyber bullied, a beautiful, young boy with his whole life in front of him, a boy close in age to my brother.

If you are reading this blog post and you are the or one of the anonymous hater commenters, I really, truly hope you read this story and it resounds in you that not only are you hurting a human being, but your un-kind words, in extreme cases could result in someone being so depressed, that they to think about taking their life, and I for one, do not want that to happen. You might look at yourself in the mirror everyday, and think "Yes, I've gone and hurt her now, she's so upset." Please turn it around, imagine how you would feel, and quite rightly imagine how that particular girls parents would feel, if she too, took her life like Ryan. You may think I am taking this to the extreme, but there is enough documentation in the world to link cyber bullying to suicide.

Another example of an awful Formspring comment is this one from Victoria:

"I really used to love your blog as it was about budget fashion, but I don't know what's happened. Frankly you seem to think you are some minor celebrity now. I'm sick to death of hearing about your hair & am not remotely interested in your keyrings"

The first thing that struck me with this comment and what is quite obvious is that, this vile person obviously reads Victoria's blog and watches her YouTube videos, if the anon was that BOTHERED by hearing about her hair etc. why not just click UNFOLLOW? Instead of taking the time and effort to write it anonymously on her Formspring, surely that would of been easier no? Here is what Victoria had to say....

"In all honesty, getting ‘’hate’’ on formspring doesn’t bother me. It makes me think that the person who wrote it is clearly very unhappy in their life and feels the need to take it out on someone who’s better than them. Now, before I offend anyone and get hate, I mean that people must write these things out of pure jealousy. The fact they wrote ‘’minor celebrity’’ makes me think they wish they were, they wish they were famous and people knew who they were. I however, don’t see myself like that. Im a normal girl, I blog about my life, I tweet A LOT and have made some great friends on here but no way do I think im better than anyone else. I once had 0 followers- just like everyone else. My outfit posts are from Primark, and im not really sure it gets more budget than that. I get asked at least once everyday about my hair, it’s not my fault that people seem to take an interest in it. I made a video about my bag, what did they expect to see?  Im a very sarcastic person, and that could come across as rude. But If someone thinks that, then they clearly don’t know me, so therefore aren’t worth getting upset about. So to the person who asked that ‘question’… writing comments like this might make you feel better about yourself, but it doesn’t make me feel anything different about my life, your words are meaningless, just like your self esteem."

Stephanie got in touch with me as well and this is what she had to say on the Formspring situation...

"When I first got into blogging I opened one, I didn't get many 'normal' questions, I wasnt very well known (if you like) though, but I kept getting ones about my nose, that I needed a nose job, and just the general size of it. It then went on from formspring, to anon comments on my blog as well as some one making up an email address & emailing me about my awful nose too! Truely horrible and just evil. A fair few girlies were getting evil comments at the same time, seemed to have died down abit but now with more people on FS the twats are hittin back!"

Ok to finish I'm going to say this to you all, if you are on the receiving end of a nasty Formspring comment, don't answer it...it's as simple as that, as soon as you dignify them with a response, they have won. All they are looking for is glory and to stir a reaction, I know it's difficult to say, but you might actually know your anon, and they are just elating with the joy at your un-happy tirade on Twitter. So even though it's hard to ignore, and you can't block anons on Formspring I don't think, when and if you get a hate 'question' just click delete. Delete them out of your life, and delete along with it a little bit more of their personality, we will beat them, there's more of us. If however you are suffering quite bad, from any type of online bullying, I refer you to this site.

I have made this button, which I am going to add to my blog, if you want to add it too that would be great, just right click and save the image. Let's not let them win girls, I really do love you all, and although it may not stop, atleast in most bloggers you have a friend, and one true friend outweighs a thousand anonymous haters. I'm always here if you need to talk, my email is in my contact details.

If you have managed to get to the bottom, thanks so much for reading, it means a lot. Thank You to the girls who helped me with this. Let me know if you add the button, I will add you to a blog roll.

Lots of Love as always...